What Does It Mean When You Talk in Your Sleep?

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By Haley Goldberg and Sara Lindberg, SELF

If you’ve ever heard your partner blurt out strange bits of gibberish in the middle of the night, you probably know it can be equal parts jarring and hilarious. In some cases, talking in your sleep just seems like harmless chatter, but it can also be a little disconcerting if your bed partner starts loudly screeching “Why are you doing this to me?” in a high-pitched voice (trust us, it’s terrifying).

While experts and researchers have several theories as to why this happens, Abhinav Singh, M.D., medical director at Indiana Sleep Center and member of the medical review panel for SleepFoundation.org, tells SELF that the most simplified explanation for sleep talking is that your sleep/wake switches aren’t working as efficiently and may be a little sloppy.

Sleep talking occurs in all sleep states and stages, including rapid eye movement (REM) and non-REM sleep, with episodes ranging from isolated speech to full conversations without recall. This means you could be chatting it up at any time, according to a 2014 review published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal.

That said, sleep talking is typically easier to understand when someone is in the early stages of sleep, including non-REM stages 1 and 2. In later parts of the sleep cycle, or non-REM stage 3 and REM sleep, sleep talking usually sounds more like moaning and groaning, according to SleepFoundation.org.

Although it’s generally harmless, and often a bit humorous, what freaks people out the most about sleep talking is that they typically don’t remember doing it when they wake up. Plus, the voices and language a person uses while sleep talking might be different from their typical speech habits.

All of this might lead you to search online for answers as to why you’re carrying on conversations or blurting out random thoughts in the middle of the night. So, keep reading to learn what causes sleep talking, how common it is, and tips for getting a better night’s sleep.

What is sleep talking?

Sleep talking, also known as “somniloquy” by sleep experts, can involve complete gibberish and mumbling or complicated monologues that contextually make sense. According to the Cleveland Clinic, somniloquy falls under a group of sleep disorders called parasomnias, which are unusual or undesirable experiences that disrupt your sleep.

At one time, it was considered a disorder, but sleep talking is now seen as more of a sleep quirk, which sometimes can be associated with sleep disturbances, psychiatrist and sleep specialist Alex Dimitriu, M.D., founder of Menlo Park Psychiatry & Sleep Medicine, tells SELF. In fact, Dr. Dimitriu says talking in your sleep is most often harmless and happens once or twice in a person’s life.

So, what are some of these unusual or undesirable talking events? Well, if you’re wondering how weird things can get, ask anyone who shares a bed with someone who rattles off gibberish or has entire conversations while sleeping. They’ll most likely tell you it can get pretty bizarre. But don’t take our word for it. Check out what people are saying on Reddit:

• “My brother was coming out of a medical procedure, kind of half-awake, and said ‘Dr. Pepper is not a real doctor!’ and then went back to sleep.”

• “My ex once exclaimed, ‘Babies! Babies! Babies! They make me wanna be a better man.’”

• “One night I sat bolt upright and said to my wife, ‘This is why I’m not a sniper,’ and then laid back down and went straight back to snoring.”

• “My fiance opened her eyes, looked at me stone-faced and said, ‘Play a job when you eat so you can block out the sun,’ then rolled back over. Confused, I said, ‘What?’ She immediately repeated herself in a slightly annoyed tone. Again I said, ‘…what?’ To which she replied, ‘Ugh, never mind.’ I still wonder what she was trying to tell me.”

Read More: We Finally Know Why Stress Turns Your Hair White

How common is sleep talking?

Anyone can experience sleep talking, but it’s more common in children, with about half of young kids chatting it up while sleeping, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM). An older study published in Sleep Medicine, found that up to two in three people experience a sleep talking episode at some point in their life. However, the ongoing prevalence of sleep talking in adults is only around 5%, per the AASM.

Why do people talk in their sleep?

We’ve established that idle chit chat while sleeping is perfectly normal and actually quite common, but why do some people talk in their sleep and others don’t? Here are some factors to consider:

• Kids are more likely to talk in their sleep than adults, per the Frontiers For Young Minds, an organization that provides free medical journal articles that have been shaped by scientists and young people to explain complex issues. That’s because kids spend more time in deep sleep, and sleep talking and walking typically occur when they move out of that deep slumber to lighter stages of sleep.

• Sleep talking often co-occurs with other sleep disturbances like sleep walking, teeth grinding, and nightmares, according to the National Sleep Foundation.

• Some people may be more susceptible than others genetically. If any family members carry on at night, you might be more likely than someone without a family history to start talking in your sleep. Many parasomnias show genetic effects or familial clustering, but no specific genes are yet implicated, according to 2011 research published in the journal Cell.

What causes sleep talking? Is it bad?

Just like the words you utter might not make sense, researchers aren’t exactly sure what causes someone to talk in their sleep. That said, sleep talking most likely means that a person is sleep-deprived. “Most of the time it’s due to either something causing sleep deprivation or there already is a high level of sleep deprivation, including a disruptive sleep environment,” Michael Breus, Ph.D., a sleep specialist and author of The Power Of When, tells SELF. Disrupted sleep environments can mean anything from the room being too warm to too much light pouring in your window from a streetlamp.

Stress is another contributing factor, according to Dr. Dimitriu. This is most likely caused by disturbing the natural depth of your sleep. “Whenever something wakes you, even slightly, you are prone to do something strange—as you are half asleep—sleep talking is one of those things, and sleep walking is another,” he says. Certain medications (either sedating or stimulating), anxiety, or just being really tired can sometimes trigger an episode of sleep talking in some people but not in others, Dr. Dimitriu adds.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, depression, daytime drowsiness, alcohol, and fever can cause sleep talking too. Underlying medical conditions could also cause sleep deprivation, leading to sleep talking. This includes sleep apnea, a sleep disorder where breathing is repeatedly interrupted during sleep.

The good news in all of this? “There is no danger to random isolated episodes of sleep talking,” Dr. Dimitriu says. However, if it begins to occur frequently, or there are other symptoms, such as insomnia, waking up several times per night, or being sleepy by day, he says it may be worth speaking with your doctor, and considering a sleep study. For most people, though, sleep talking is a short-lived phenomenon and no treatment is really necessary.

So, do sleep talkers tell the truth?

Maybe it’s because we’ve seen too many movies or want to coax secrets out of our loved ones, but many nighttime conversationalists have one burning question: “When you talk in your sleep, are you telling the truth?”

While sleep talking parallels awake talking for semantics, syntax, and turn-taking in conversation, according to a 2017 study published in the journal Sleep, it’s not a reliable method of getting someone to spill their dirty secrets. Partly because you are in an unconscious state simply expressing words and noises. However, researchers from the study did discover a few interesting tidbits: The most frequent word spoken during sleep talking was “No,” and an interrogation-type tone was found in 26% of speech episodes.

How to stop sleep talking

If you’re unsure about why you’re talking in your sleep, it might be a bit challenging to figure out how to stop. While no official sleep talking treatment protocol exists, eliminating or reducing the conditions triggering it is a good place to start. And your first order of business if you want to curb your nightly chatter is to overhaul your sleep hygiene (a fancy word for your pre-sleep habits).

“With my patients, I increase their overall sleep and decrease things that are disrupting their sleep—so decrease caffeine, decrease alcohol, decrease stress before bed,” Dr. Breus says. “Those types of things can then really help make the situation literally go away by itself.”

“Regular bed and wake times cannot be underscored in their ability to improve and stabilize sleep,” Dr. Dimitriu says. Also, make sure the bed is comfortable and cool, and the sleeping area is dark. “If anything bothers you at night, it could wake you or cause something strange to occur when you are half awake,” he adds. Being really tired or sleep-deprived can also cause sleep talking to occur, so make sure you get enough sleep (ideally seven to nine hours) consistently.

If the issue is starting to impact your day-to-day life, Dr. Singh suggests seeing a sleep specialist. “They can evaluate for other interrupters like sleep disorders, sleep apnea, or complications from alcohol, medication, or nicotine.”

If you want to start small, here are a few other tips to get your sleep space in order:

• Create a bedtime routine to allow your brain to unwind before going to sleep. This includes sleep-promoting activities such as taking a warm shower or a bath and practicing relaxation techniques, such as meditation or gentle stretching.

• Optimize your sleep environment. This includes a comfortable room temperature (about 60 to 67 degrees Fahrenheit), powering off electronics at least 60 minutes before bed, and using dim lighting.

• You’ll also want to steer clear of alcohol and caffeine in the evening hours, with the goal of curbing caffeine use six hours before bedtime, per a 2013 study published in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine.

What to do if your partner is a sleep talker

If your bed partner sleep talks, you might find yourself tuning in to see if they reveal anything juicy about themselves. But before you break out the recorder, Dr. Breus says what someone says while they’re asleep isn’t worth analyzing. “There’s no data to suggest that sleep talking is either predictive in nature or kind of gives you a window into their subconscious or anything like that,” he says. (Bummer, we know.)

Therefore, if you’re sharing a bed with a sleep talker, Dr. Breus recommends good ol’ ear plugs or a white noise machine to keep your own sleep undisturbed. And know that if you try to talk to a sleep talker, you’re not going to get very far. “There used to be this old wive’s tale that said, ‘Just wait until a partner is asleep and ask them a bunch of questions and you’ll really find out what’s going on,’” Dr. Breus says. “But that really doesn’t occur.”

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