How To Help A Friend Who Is Struggling With Fertility Issues

There is a very high chance that you know someone who is struggling with infertility. After all, over seven million women of childbearing age in the US have experienced infertility, but as a society, we still seem to struggle with understanding the process and how to provide emotional support for someone going through the pain that it can bring.

The pain of infertility has often been compared to the grief of losing a loved one, but often worse, as it comes back month after month, and we are surrounded by pregnant women, young babies and happy, smiling families in every part of our life. The ‘what if’s?’ can follow us and be there every single moment of every day. Not only that, but fertility can put a huge strain on relationships with people, and let’s not even start the discussion about how cripplingly expensive it can be.

Fertility issues can be resolved in three very different ways:

• IVF or other infertility treatment will help them to conceive their much-wanted baby
• The couple will stop their treatment and choose to live without a child
• The couple will find an alternative way of becoming parents, such as adoption or fostering.

Whatever path they end up taking, it will take it’s toll emotionally, and they will need the support of their family and friends. Here, we look at how you can support them through this process.

Don’t Tell Them To Relax.

One of the worst things anyone could tell a couple who are struggling to conceive is to relax. Everyone knows someone who ‘relaxed and got pregnant’. Comments such as this are unhelpful because no doubt they have tried that course of action and no manner of relaxing will help them to conceive. It can make them feel even worse like the woman is doing something wrong which is stopping her from getting pregnant. Infertility is a medical condition, and even with medical treatment, many couples will not conceive.

Don’t Tell Them There Are Worse Things That Could Happen.

For some people, there may be worse things than not being able to have a baby, but for many, not being able to get pregnant and have their much-wanted child may be the worst thing that ever happens to them. Minimising their pain and what they are going through can only cause more emotional trauma.

Don’t Push Adoption As An Alternative

Adoption is a wonderful thing and is an alternative way for many couples to reach their goal of becoming parents. However, it is not for everyone, and before they can decide whether to go down that path, they have to grieve for the loss of their own biological , and this can take a long time.

Let Them Know You Care

Above all, let them know that you care and offer them the same support that you would to anyone who has lost a loved one. Let them know that you are thinking of them, and provide a shoulder to cry on if they need to.