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Figuring out how you can help a family member suffering from depression isn't easy, especially since depression impacts different people in different ways. But it is worth trying.
According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), affects 6.8 million adults, or roughly 3.1% of the United States population. Still, only 43.2% of those affected receive treatmen t. The World Health Organization (WHO) cites major depression as the heaviest burden of disability among mental and behavior disorders.
The stigma associated with mental health disorders, like depression, also inhibits individuals from seeking the support and treatment they need. In 2011, only 59.6% of individuals with mental illness reported receiving treatment, and the stereotypes depicting people with mental illness as being dangerous, unpredictable, and generally incompetent often discouraged individuals from speaking candidly about their mental health.
The first step in helping your loved one who is suffering from depression is acknowledging that they have it. We rounded up some other tips that will help you be a good ally to those in your life grappling with this mental illness.
Remember four important, undeniable facts
The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) asks that supportive family members and friends remember four things prior to any attempt at helping their loved one with depression: your loved one's illness is not your fault (or your loved one's fault), you can't make your loved one well, but you can offer support, understanding, and hope, each person experiences a mood disorder differently, with different symptoms, and the best way to find out what your loved one needs from you is by asking direct questions.Keeping a clear and open mind, while simultaneously establishing realistic expectations regarding your loved one's mental health, treatment, and even reaction to treatment, is an important step in helping your family member suffering from depression.
Don’t try to fix your loved one’s problem on your own
If love, concern, support, and the best of intentions could cure depression or any other kind of mental illness, psychologists would be out of a job and mental illness wouldn't impact millions of people all over the country. But none of the aforementioned can eradicate your loved one's depression.Instead, DBSA encourages family members to support their loved ones in seeking professional help. According to The Mayo Clinic, medications and psychotherapy are effective treatment measure for most people with depression. Many people with depression also benefit from seeing a psychiatrist, psychologist or other mental health professional.
Don’t ask them to "snap out of it"
According to DBSA, "Your friend or family member can't snap out of this illness any more than he or she could overcome diabetes, asthma, cancer, or high blood pressure without treatment." Personally, I know that telling me to "get over it" or "just be happy" or "stop whining" did nothing but make my depression worse, and reinforce the negative idea that I was alone in my mental illness.Learn the symptoms of depression
According to the Mayo Clinic, signs and symptoms of depression vary from person to person. They can, however, include: feelings of sadness, fearfulness, emptiness, or hopelessness, angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters, loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies, our sports, insomnia or sleeping too much, tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort, change in appetite, and trouble thinking.DBSA encourages individuals to educate themselves about their loved one's disease, prior to discussing any potential treatments and/or asserting themselves as a positive, supportive person in their loved one's life.
Practice the following sayings
DBSA provides numerous ways in which a supportive family member that can remind their loved one suffering from depression that they're cared for, that they matter, and that they have people in their life that value them and will forever support them. Here are just a few helpful things you can say to someone showing signs of depression:"I'm here for you."
"I care."
"I may not understand your pain, but I can offer my support."
"You are a worthwhile person and you mean a lot to me."
"Your brain mislaying to you right now, and that is part of your illness."
"Don't give up. You can get through this."
Encourage treatment
According to the Mayo Clinic, people with depression may not recognize or acknowledge that they're depressed. "They may not be aware of signs and symptoms of depression, so they may think their feelings are normal."But depression rarely, if ever, gets better without treatment and may get worse, according to the Mayo Clinic. With the right treatment approach, the person you care about can begin to manage their depression.
Take care of yourself
I am aware that my depression not only impacts me but those around me. So the best way for my loved ones to help me is to help themselves first. DBSA agrees, writing the following on their website: "Take care of yourself so you are able to be there for your loved one. Find support for yourself with understanding friends or relatives, in therapy of your own or at DBSA support group."It's a clichéd analogy, to be sure, but you have to put your oxygen mask on before you assist anyone else.
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